Relationship to me 2 years ago
I recently went through my old phone and I realised I had a draft that is on the notepad that I had never post before. After reading it I feel like it will be nice if I can just post it here and I mean it doesn't kill anyone to post something that was 2 years ago. My point of view now and from 2 years ago is still the same. Hence, I have decided to post that draft. So enjoy reading.
There are many types of relationships from family to your future husband/wife relationship. But for now, my family is still my priorities after that will be friendships.
I do respect family relationship a lot especially parents and child relationships. Why? Because my father passed on and went to the heaven last year.
This might get pretty personal but what I found out that if I share this with more people I will actually get more confident if I have to share with someone my past. I will always remember how I always start to tear up whenever I have to inform my secondary school teacher about why I didn't attend class or school events. Till now I still find it weird how I can start to tear up and break down when I tell my teacher. (That's before my dad actually passed away)
I'm glad that now I do have the courage to share with anyone, even if I know the person for just one hour I could share this personal thing with he/her. It might make people feel pity for me, but what's the real meaning behind about sharing this is actually to make me stronger than before and show that we as a family still cam remain happy even though our loved ones are gone. In addition, when I share this to my friends at the end of the message I will always leave this sentence which is " So please treasure what you have before is gone." Yes, it is a very mainstream tagline. But I will always re-enforce over and over again. Because I do feel guilty for being a stubborn child. What my whole family regret was not able to be overseas as a whole family. It's been a thing for my family to plan like an overseas trip but it never happens. Due to the job my mum is doing. (Is actually my dad's and then is passed to my mum) Her job is self-employed and she has to work every single day without fail to deliver stocks to people. I cannot blame all the fault to her cause is a job she never wants to work for, but for us, she has to work her ass off to earn money for our living and education. So I really respect my mum and also my dad!
So after my dad passed on my whole family left with ladies. I would say it isn't that difficult to adapt cause I am always the noisy and bubbly one to make the whole family laugh and everything. But what is missing is the love from my dad and in simple love from a GUY. This really struck me if I should get a boyfriend.
To me having a boyfriend is the cutest thing ever. Having a boyfriend is just another person who will always stick to you no matter what. This is what makes it cute. But whatever after a few months of thinking I drop the idea of having a boyfriend because is just too troublesome is more like you do have more responsibilities to handle. My current situation isn't showing I have the effort to handle extra responsibilities.
However the main thing for me is I have been totally single for 17 years, I do think that I will have a crush or anything but no, nothing is happening to me. But what I know about myself is that I am super easily influenced. For example, someone's point of view can really influence me or when people say this my heart will just follow. It sounds ridiculous but is true. This makes myself so confuse and I have no idea what to do.
Also, I am clueless about love and trust. But I guess is still normal for me to be clueless. Hoping things will happen but in another is like neh. ( This totally shows how undecidable I am)
Till next time,
Sending some love from me to you.
Instagram // eileentxy_
There are many types of relationships from family to your future husband/wife relationship. But for now, my family is still my priorities after that will be friendships.
I do respect family relationship a lot especially parents and child relationships. Why? Because my father passed on and went to the heaven last year.
This might get pretty personal but what I found out that if I share this with more people I will actually get more confident if I have to share with someone my past. I will always remember how I always start to tear up whenever I have to inform my secondary school teacher about why I didn't attend class or school events. Till now I still find it weird how I can start to tear up and break down when I tell my teacher. (That's before my dad actually passed away)
I'm glad that now I do have the courage to share with anyone, even if I know the person for just one hour I could share this personal thing with he/her. It might make people feel pity for me, but what's the real meaning behind about sharing this is actually to make me stronger than before and show that we as a family still cam remain happy even though our loved ones are gone. In addition, when I share this to my friends at the end of the message I will always leave this sentence which is " So please treasure what you have before is gone." Yes, it is a very mainstream tagline. But I will always re-enforce over and over again. Because I do feel guilty for being a stubborn child. What my whole family regret was not able to be overseas as a whole family. It's been a thing for my family to plan like an overseas trip but it never happens. Due to the job my mum is doing. (Is actually my dad's and then is passed to my mum) Her job is self-employed and she has to work every single day without fail to deliver stocks to people. I cannot blame all the fault to her cause is a job she never wants to work for, but for us, she has to work her ass off to earn money for our living and education. So I really respect my mum and also my dad!
So after my dad passed on my whole family left with ladies. I would say it isn't that difficult to adapt cause I am always the noisy and bubbly one to make the whole family laugh and everything. But what is missing is the love from my dad and in simple love from a GUY. This really struck me if I should get a boyfriend.
To me having a boyfriend is the cutest thing ever. Having a boyfriend is just another person who will always stick to you no matter what. This is what makes it cute. But whatever after a few months of thinking I drop the idea of having a boyfriend because is just too troublesome is more like you do have more responsibilities to handle. My current situation isn't showing I have the effort to handle extra responsibilities.
However the main thing for me is I have been totally single for 17 years, I do think that I will have a crush or anything but no, nothing is happening to me. But what I know about myself is that I am super easily influenced. For example, someone's point of view can really influence me or when people say this my heart will just follow. It sounds ridiculous but is true. This makes myself so confuse and I have no idea what to do.
Also, I am clueless about love and trust. But I guess is still normal for me to be clueless. Hoping things will happen but in another is like neh. ( This totally shows how undecidable I am)
Till next time,
Sending some love from me to you.
Instagram // eileentxy_
Comments
Post a Comment